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Another Uneventful Day

Today, I went out to a restaurant to have dinner with my family.

On my way in, as we were being led to our table, I noticed a particular table of 3 on my right side. One of them was a 20-something-year-old girl, wearing particularly short pants to show off her long slender legs. (Or so I assumed.)

She was accompanied by two older people, who I took to be her parents.

Which was why it was surprising when she started looking flirtatiously at me while eating her ice cream. Being pretty sure that I was mistaken, I looked again.

But no, she was looking straight at me after all. She slowly licked the ice cream off of the spoon in her hands. I have to say, that was quite a feat. It takes skill to maintain constant eye contact with someone while eating without making a mess.

Upon further inspection by me, she blinked her doe eyes at me deliberately again and ran her tongue slowly around her lips, which I then noticed, were full and plump.

Finally, unsure of what to make of such a display and slightly embarrassed by her naughty gestures, I said nothing, and continued on my way towards our table.

Fears and Hopes

It’s been a long time since I last wrote.

This time, I would like to talk a little about future developments, as well as related fears and hopes.

In less than a month, I’ll be heading off to a place where little English is spoken. (Not that the place I’m in right now is any different, but where I’m going, English is probably as useful as a map printed on a piece of toilet paper when you’re caught out in a rainstorm.) I’ll be staying there for a long, long time. Less than a year, but pretty darn close.

One of my fears is that after being away from English for so long, I’ll lose my abilities to snidely criticize and poke fun at people I know. Or in other cases, don’t know.

And last but not least, my hope is that I’ll only lose a small portion of my English abilities, small enough that it can be replaced effortlessly when I start speaking the language again.

My Father’s Father

Many of my friends have asked me about my summer job and how it’s going, but seeing as there isn’t a single interesting thing I could say about it, I’m going to talk about grandfathers instead.

I’m similar to a lot of people in the world, in the sense that I, like them, also have two grandfathers. One of them, the father’s father, is the paternal grandfather.

I was supposed to give mine a phone call, seeing as I haven’t called him in a long while, but for some reason, I’ve decided to put that off and write about him instead.

He is a good man, but I hold ambivalent feelings towards him. I realize that many of the things he does and says are done and said, because he cares about us. But sometimes I can’t help but feel that sense of annoyance, which I’m sure all of you have felt before, no matter how filial you are. Even if you’re trying to be a dutiful son or daughter, I’m sure there are some things that you don’t see eye-to-eye on with your elders.

If I had to imagine my grandfather as an object, he would be one of those broken old antique record players that keep looping over and over again. Expensive and precious, but also obsolete.

But don’t get me wrong, my grandfather’s actually very precious to me. Unlike those other antiques, I would not sell him even if I was in dire need of money.

I will try to call him tonight.

My Summer So Far

Because of a hastily thought out promise, I’m going to be working at a tutoring firm for more than 2 months. And because I wrote this out hastily, I’ve left out a lot of probably embarrassing details and/or made a few mistakes here and there.

But anyhow, I had thought I would be tutoring kids (which I am), and I’m completely fine with kids. But because of some differences in expectations, I was a bit surprised overwhelmed on the first few days (the beginning of this week).

Normally, when my friends ask if I want to play poker, I normally assume they want to ask if I want to play one poker game at a time with one hand in my possession. What I don’t normally assume, is that they want me to hold 8 hands and play 8 different games all at the same time.

So when I took the job, I made the assumption that I would be tutoring kids one-on-one, or even if I was teaching a whole bunch of them, it would be a class and I would be teaching all of them the same thing. I guess it was stupid of me to make that assumption, because it couldn’t have been any further from the truth.

I was in charge of a bunch of students. They were all from different schools, different grades and needed help on different subjects, sometimes in different languages. And for those of you unfamiliar with the practice of “dictation,” it involves the dictation of something and the student writing it down, to see if they know the word. At some point, I remember vaguely holding a few books in my hands and switching from one to the other while walking around, carrying out three dictations (two in Chinese), while making up questions on the spot to quiz two other students on social sciences, and coaxing another student to do his homework. And sometimes, some kids are difficult to handle.

I personally thought it was a little chaotic and messy, like playing 8 games of chess at once. playing one game of poker, chess, monopoly, and checkers, while singing a song and juggling bottles. Oh, and put a bed of hot embers underneath my feet so I have to constantly hop around to avoid being burned.

Oh, and did I mention that I’ve become very unfamiliar with the subjects after leaving high school? It’s a little awkward to be grilled on multiple subjects which you’re not very familiar with. Or stuff that you never learned. At many times, I didn’t really know what to say, just like George W. Bush when being asked about U.S. politics.

And… I’ll eventually have to take care of the administrative responsibilities as well, like accounting for the tuition fees. I feel a little like a one man band. What I need is 8 arms to make my life easier.

I’m feeling a lot better about it now though. I’m starting to remember what I learned from high school. My back no longer aches from bending over students all day to see what they’re up to. I actually still had the energy to walk after getting off work today. It’s starting to look good.

I suppose another way of looking at this is that this could be a great chance for me to grow as a person. In that case, I’ll grow 6 more arms and evolve into something that can multitask better.

rogerlu asked: Why was you recent blog so vague? Do you like to make people confused as fuck? Does it satisfy you hunger for entropy?

I see you like to make me as confused as fuck to satisfy your hunger for entropy, whatever that’s supposed to mean.

No, I was being vague for many reasons, but I think the main reason is that I’m still not very ready to talk about it yet. I need more time to gain a more balanced perspective on it, as well as a better sense of humor, I guess.

A Few Words From Me Before I Go MIA Again

I haven’t really been posting much, for many, many reasons which I won’t go into detail on right now. And it doesn’t seem like I’ll be posting too much this summer at this rate.

This post might be a little bit different from what you normally expect from me, and I apologize in advance. It’s going to be a little preachy, but this is actually more for myself than for anyone else. I want to make sure that I remember and learn from my mistakes, and never make the same mistake twice.

1. Cliched as ever, but… Don’t just react to something, always act on something. Don’t just sit there passively. You’ll make an easy target, and it’s very likely that you’ll get screwed.

2. If you’re going to be a sitting duck, at least know what’s coming your way. When in doubt, always ask. Never expect everything to go your way - it’s a dangerous expectation. If there’s anything nice that comes your way, there’s no saying it couldn’t be a Trojan Horse. (And no, this has nothing to do with computers.)

3. In the case that you were so lazy that you did the exact opposite of 1) and 2), and dug your own grave and got bitten on the ass, always be aware of the possibility that it may actually be a blessing in disguise. Try to treat it as such, because it’s really up to you to decide whether it is one or not.

I don’t think I’ll be going into detail about what happened, but maybe I will one day, when I’m ready. One step at a time.

rogerlu asked: Did you know that pigs can fly? I sure didn't believe it but now I do!

I’m not sure what you’re referring to. May I venture a few guesses?

1. You’re making a reference to that new movie that just came out, “Splice.”

Well, technically, Dren isn’t a pig. Also, I’m quite looking forward to seeing that movie. I wonder when I’ll be able to.

2. You want to say that something that you never thought could happen, actually happened. If that’s the case, I’m gonna venture a guess…

Did you get laid? (I kid, I kid.)

3. You saw my flying pig.

Roger, I told you not to look!

o-dilly asked: when are you going to Japan and will I ever see you again? :(

I’m going to Japan around the end of September. And yes, you will see me again! Unless the plane I’m on crashes or something. Or if a major earthquake happens in Japan. Or if I commit seppuku or something.

All About My Mother

No, the title isn’t meant to be a reference to that Spanish film (which is a fascinating movie by the way), it’s actually about my own mother. And to be honest, this isn’t exactly all about my mother. It’s more about her falling off a chair.

My mother and I were eating at a restaurant yesterday. The food was decent, but the only thing I remember is that all of a sudden, my mother and her chair just started to lean to her right. And then they just sort of toppled over together, very slowly as if in slow-mo, with my mother flailing her arms helplessly in the air during that entire time.

I managed to grab her hand before she hit the ground, but the chair - well, it wasn’t as fortunate. But things could have been worse. At least the chair didn’t reach far enough to hit the table next to us.

Speaking of which, the old folks over there seemed pretty dumbfounded. I bet they were wondering how in the hell a woman so much younger than them was falling off a chair for no reason at all, when they themselves were still moving around fine.

Later on, I realized that all this happened because my mother had been trying to scoot in her chair, but part of the chair got caught in the carpet, causing her to lose her balance. Still, I wouldn’t have believed this myself had I not been there to witness this.

Anonymous asked: If ekans is to snake, then what is muk?

I’m guessing you want me to say cum, but I really think it’s just muck.